Usually I'm more drawn to the woods but lately I've been feeling such a strong pull to be by the sea. And it seems Nixie has been feeling the same because everyday for the past few weeks she's been talking non-stop about wanting to go to the seawall (although to her that means the beach). And for the past three weeks we've been having almost daily adventures to the seaside.
Nixie loves being by the sea, she loves splashing in the water, finding treasures in the sand and jumping through the puddles that have been created by all the rain we’ve been having along the seawall or if it’s low tide exploring the little island that becomes visible just in front of our little beach.
Besides the inner pull we’ve been feeling, our daily excursions to the seawall have been motivated by my idea of getting the buggy out of the garage which had been in there since last May, and I must say it’s been a revelation! Now we're able to go on long relaxing walks without me having to carry her on my back which is really tiring after a while and it’s made me want to do it every single day. We are so lucky to have the seawall because it’s one long cycling path which takes you all the way from Lymington to Keyhaven through the nature reserve and is perfectly buggy friendly! Now these long relaxing walks wouldn’t really be possible in the woods because the areas that we like to play and explore in are not buggy friendly.
A lot of the time I don’t bring the camera with me when it’s just the two of us but on this one day I so wish I had, it was one of the most special experiences I’ve had along the seawall. We headed to the seawall down the path that starts on lower woodside & just before you reach the seawall to the right there is a patch of trees and a tiny little hill, in the summer it’s the most perfect place to sit if you want to be hidden, & here there were several horses just hanging out and behind them a bit in the distance I could see this beautiful heron just slowly walking on the water's edge, it was such an idyllic scene and as I looked at Nixie and thought about how different her childhood has become since we left London, I had that really strong feeling of oh-I-can't-believe-we-live-here this is just so beautiful! Once we were actually on the seawall Nixie wanted out of the buggy so that she could run and she had so much fun running in front of me through all the puddles and while she was having the time of her life I turned to look towards the water on my left and right there so close to me I saw a kingfisher! I’ve always wanted to see one and I had no idea how beautiful they are, the sun was shining on him so perfectly that his blue feathers were shimmering in the most gorgeous way, I was truly mesmerized. It was just one of those moments where everything felt infused with deeper meaning. Nixie wasn't wearing wellies just her snow boots so I told her she couldn't go in the water and she actually listened! She even played in the sand on the edge of the water but didn't go in, it was amazing, it was a moment where everything felt different and where it felt a whole new world of possibility had opened up, that we could now all of a sudden do so many more things together. She was actually listening to me and I didn’t need to worry about her jumping into the sea! It was such a great feeling and it was the most relaxed I’d ever felt up to that point being near the sea with her. Usually I have to be in a state of ultra crazy alertness!
Another element that made this walk so amazing was that there was a lot of fog (ok so i did try to take a photo of this with my phone), you couldn't even see the Isle of Wight and it made everything feel so mystical. I felt myself touch upon something so deep within myself, I could feel something, a message perhaps, a vision of clarity coming through to me, I wanted so badly to just sit down and meditate, to be still, and quiet but with my little Nixie that wasn't possible, but even though I wasn't able to follow that desire, I could still feel a sense of a deeper newer energy flowing through me, I felt so good, so happy & at peace, I felt absolutely perfect. It was a natural high. And this was just one of our walks, every single time we are out I feel new inspirations.
Each little adventure to the seaside always brings new surprises. The weather is always changing and the light never stays the same. It reminds me of my own emotions and how everything is fleeting never staying the same for too long. And sometimes when I’m by the sea things that maybe had been hidden within me have a way of coming up to the surface where I’m able to gain new clarities and understandings. It feels like such a blessing to have the sea and the forests so close to us and that we’re able to choose where we spend our time. This area from Lymington to Keyhaven is such a beautiful place and a sense of peace always washes over me when we're there and at the moment I just can’t get enough of it.
A couple of weekends ago I had wanted Kevin to experience the blissful walks along the seawall that me and Nixie had been having during the week but instead of walking from our house we put the buggy in the car and drove to the sea wall parking lot on lower pennington lane. We headed down one of the paths that leads directly to the seawall but this time decided to test out a path we'd never been on which was just to the right of us going along the far edge of the open heathland. We didn’t know where it led, I assumed it just looped around to our usual path and onto the seawall but instead it brought us to another beautiful path to the seawall which was alongside a small stretch of water which had several swans swimming in it. As soon as Nixie saw them she got so excited and asked for the swan food which i had annoyingly forgot but luckily it wasn’t that big of a deal to her. I think the scene playing out in front of us helped change the focus because it stopped us all in our tracks: there were a group of maybe hundreds upon hundreds of geese swimming in the water but they were all flapping their wings in unison, it was such an incredible sound I had never heard anything like it before & we were all completely mesmerized.
Once we reached the seawall she wanted to walk so we got her out of the buggy and all three of us enjoyed walking together as a family. We actually went on a walk that we'd never done before and what's crazy is that it was so close to an area that we've been to so many times but for some reason we've never gone to the right of it and never walked to Keyhaven & it really blew my mind because this section of the seawall was so beautiful and I felt so completely amazed that after all this time we were still having a new experience! It was low tide so there were plenty of opportunities for Nixie to find really deep and sticky mud to play in which is one of her happy places although we did kind of have to keep an eye on her so that she wouldn’t go to where the mud was too deep and where she could get stuck. But walking along the path with Kevin & Nixie and looking at our surroundings I had that amazing feeling of fullness again, I really cherish all of the moments when we're all together.
We couldn't have asked for a better day out because on this particular late sunday afternoon the sun was out and the light was exceptionally beautiful and I was so happy that I had chosen to bring my camera with me. Once we got to keyhaven Nixie loved seeing the boats which looked stranded due to the low tide & she even managed to find a dilapidated little fishing boat that she climbed into and was convinced that we were meant to pull her in it. We had planned to walk to Hurst spit but due to Nixie's infatuation with all the great muddy puddles and all the discoveries to be made at the newly created beach by the low tide we ran out of time and needed to hurry back to the car before we lost light.
Since that day we've had pretty much daily adventures to the seaside other than a day here and there when we've had really heavy rain. At the moment the seaside has become our favourite place to be. We've been there during high tide and low tide, during times of stillness and crazy winds, times where the sun warmed our faces and kissed our cheeks, and times when the rain surprised us with its cleansing presence. No matter what the elements are on the day, these walks of ours always have a way of clearing my head and making me feel rejuvenated.
We've even had some amazing adventures to the seaside a bit further afield, last week we had a little day trip to Bournemouth and just this past Sunday we had one of the best family outings of the year, we returned to one of my all-time favourite places; studland beach. We left pretty early in the morning and hopped in the car for our little roadtrip, it takes about an hour or so to get there. We parked along the road just after the little ferry crossing, I don't understand why anyone would actually pay for parking when you can park for free along the road! We hadn't been there since last summer and I cannot believe how different our experience was. For the first time I think since Nixie began walking me and Kevin could actually have a relaxing stroll along the beach holding hands without worrying about her running into deep waters and drowning! It was such an incredible moment! We got lucky again with the weather, it ended up being nicer than we had expected, the light was again so beautiful and the sky was gloriously moody, I love a dark blue sky and the sun even made little appearances here and there.
This area is the most perfect playground for Nixie. We spent hours climbing sand dunes & rolling down them, building “snowmen”, drawing giant hearts in the sand, finding treasures, playing with seaweed, walking in the shallow waters left behind during low tide and exploring the sand dunes and the coastline. It was the most perfect day. I am still actually buzzing from it and that was three days ago.
I am so happy we actually did it and made the decision to leave London so that we could truly have a life with a much closer connection to nature.
Since the start of the new year life has just been feeling so good, I’m finally finding the rhythm that feels so right for me, the one that brings me peace and makes me actually feel pretty balanced at least for the time being. For the first time in a long while I feel no stress and instead only feel that I have things to look forward to.
And I'm loving my days with Nixie, and feel so grateful and blessed that we are able to have the experiences we are having. We have been in such a beautiful space together purely living in the moment and I feel so deeply connected and insync with her, everything has felt so easy, so fun and truly blissful. There's been so much affection & we've just been in this incredible bubble of love which I don't ever want to end. Whenever we're in this space everything else ceases to exist, time is non-existent, it's such a full feeling & I feel so incredibly excited about our journey together as she develops into the person she is meant to be.