Today was The Winter Solstice, our very special day. We set the alarm for 3:30 although I kept waking up in the night, I got up at 1:30 convinced it was time to get ready but luckily managed to get back to sleep. Me and Kevin got up at 3:25 and got dressed and did the last bit of getting ready before waking up the little ones at 4:00 and to my absolute surprise we were out the door and into the car and on our way to Stonehenge by 4:30, the time we had planned to leave!
Forrest you were pretty much back to sleep as soon as we started driving and Nixie you didn't sleep that much maybe 20 min, you loved driving in the darkness and were so excited. Me and daddy were a bit concerned if we would even make it there because our engine warning light was on the whole way, it had started doing that a couple of days ago but that was a different warning and this was a worse one. Your dad was so anxious and took a deep breath of pure relief once we finally arrived!
It was absolutely freezing cold when we stepped out of the car, there was such a crazy bitter wind hitting our cheeks, it definitely woke us all up! We got our stuff ready & then we headed to the cafe and got us some coffees and a hot chocolate before heading to the stones. Nixie, you were especially excited for the night time walk, you absolutely love them and at first you Forrest were happily sitting in the buggy but it wasn’t very long before you started getting upset and I put you in the wrap where you could have boob and go back to sleep.
It’s our third year coming to Stonehenge for the Solstice and there’s always such a magical feeling in the air walking towards them in the dark. I had goosebumps and felt a little emotional, I felt a deep sense of peace and was surrounded by such beautiful energies. When we arrived at the stones we laid out our blanket and had a little picnic. We were surrounded by the sounds of drums and people having a good time. The nearer it got to sunrise, you could feel the aniticpation of the crowd, it was incredibly invigorating. I decided to go for a little wander but didn’t get very far because I ended up being mesmerized by you (Nixie)& daddy, the two of you were being so sweet together and he was making you laugh so hard and you were having fits of the most intense giggles that i couldn’t take my eyes off of you! You and I ended up having a little wander and headed towards the drum circle and I couldn't believe it but Forrest you did not wake up and stayed sound asleep!
You (Nixie) were especially drawn to the flatter stones, the ones you could sort of climb on, it was very difficult to get you away from them! One thing that deterred you away from them for a moment was seeing the unicorn again, you had asked me if it was going to be there again and you got very excited even though you said you knew it was a person inside. I will never forget the first year when you tried feeding her grass!
And pretty much the same time as last year, just after the sun had risen over the horizon, I ran into the Reuters photographer who had taken a photo of me while I was pregnant with you (Forrest). He was such a sweet guy and so happy to see us and to meet you and asked if he could get another photo of us and of course I said yes. But after this we lost track of your sister and daddy and could not see them anywhere so we headed over to the drum circle.
I had thought that you were going to love it and I was right! We had the most incredible time, the drum circle had moved to inside the stones and we ended up being right up at the front where you could actually see the drums and you were amazed! You just loved the rhythms and were loving your little body while I bounced you so perfectly to the music, we found ourselves in this little group of amazing women and one of them you really connected with and the two of you were having a bit of a moment, she called you a little tribal baby. You just looked so chilled and so cool. I started missing Nixie and daddy and wished they were with us, I was a bit sad they were missing out on this amazing time we were having so we decided to go look for them again.
You were getting so many smiles from passersby whenever you would do a bit of walking, and you do the cutest little grin that I just can’t get enough off. It took ages for us all to be reunited, your daddy was a little upset that we weren't all together as a family but I reminded him of how it usually goes and this year we were all together more than any previous year, and this year we have two little ones who want to go in two different directions, Nixie you were all about climbing the stones where Forrest can't go and Forrest you were the happiest in the drum circle or just walking and crawling around on the grass. At one point you got up and walked straight over to a man who was sitting on a rock, he happened to be such a sweet guy who radiated really peaceful energies and he ended up giving you and me too little grateful stones, he said they were blessings.
We stayed at the stones until 10:00 and then started heading back to the car. Nixie you didn't seem like yourself, you were obviously very tired and struggling a bit. Once we were on the road it didn't take long before you were sound asleep. Usually we go for a walk in the woods and light a candle and release things that no longer serve us and plant wishes for the next year but you were just too tired and we were also worried about the car and just wanted to make it home. Forrest you on the other hand were wide awake and in the happiest of moods.
When we got home daddy carried you (Nixie) into the house and then you woke up and couldn't wait to begin opening our presents. Instead of trying to find yourself a present you gathered a bunch that were just for daddy. You've never really been that fussed about getting presents. You and I had the best time choosing daddys gifts, we had gone thrift store shopping and found all of his presents there including a baby doll that you were absolutely certain was for him instead of you because we couldn’t leave the baby all alone in the shop, we also made a stop at poundland where you proceeded to choose a ridiculous amount of sweets and cookies for him (I was in an agreeable mood that day so went along with it).You excitedly watched daddy open some and you loved helping Forrest open his. A lot of his presents were your old toys that we just brought down from the attic and wrapped up. He also did get some new to us musical instruments. You got some dinosaurs, spirit playmobil toys and some books. You were so incredibly excited but half way through opening gifts you got into a really bad place and very suddenly became so ill with a high fever! You were all snuggled up with daddy under my new throw, you even had the chills and said you needed to go to bed. He brought you upstairs and then you wanted me so I came and snuggled you to sleep. When I came back downstairs Forrest, you, were sound asleep in daddy's arms. It was around 14:30.
Me and daddy had a good couple of hours just relaxing before you woke up and we continued presents. We decided not to have our big solstice meal because we weren't sure how long you were going to sleep and instead I made your favourite pasta. You couldn't wait to play with your toys and you and daddy went to your room to put it all together. Forrest and I hung out in the kitchen while I made dinner because the only slight issue we now have is that Forrest can’t really play in your room because now it’s full of tiny toy pieces that he could choke on, we suggested you put your playmobil stuff up on your shelves but you want it to be on the floor.
Forrest you are such a bright light in our lives, you are so happy and always make me laugh. I can't believe you are 11 months now. I keep getting these overwhelming feelings of love when I look at you, sometimes I just can't believe you are here! I'm so conscious of how quickly time passes. Nixie's first year seemed to go so much slower than it's feeling with you. When dinner was ready daddy and Nixie came down but she was still feeling poorly and could barely eat her dinner you on the other hand had quite the appetite and got yourself quite dirty so afterwards I gave you a bath, Nixie wanted to skip it tonight and wanted to instead play with her new toys. After you finished your bath which daddy took you out of so I could have a little play with Nixie. Before it was time for you to go to bed I decided to make my favourite chocolate cake and even though Nixie you were so poorly you did your absolute best to help me but sadly you weren't feeling good enough to have some with all of us. You Forrest fell asleep while it was in the oven. Afterwards You (nixie) and daddy went upstairs to play some more and I decided to light a candle and write down all of the things I wanted to let go of and all of my wishes for the new year, I improvised with doing it in the kitchen, no one else was up for doing it with me this year but that’s ok. You were feeling so rough. All you wanted to do was play in your room but when I said I was going to go to bed you immediately changed your mind and said you wanted to go to bed with me and Forrest and as soon as we snuggled up together you were sound asleep within minutes and shortly after so was I.