You woke me up this morning by wanting cuddles and a little bit of boob,  you very very rarely have boob these days so I always find it really sweet when you do. I haven't been sleeping very good for the past few nights so I've been feeling more and more tired. Today we all ended up getting out of bed around 6:30, daddy had yesterday and today off so it's been really nice having all these family mornings. You requested the banana pancakes so I started on those straight away and I was craving an omelette so daddy started making me that and of course you jumped at the chance of being his assistant and started to help with chopping up the mushrooms. 

After breakfast you immediately wanted to go into your room to play with your train-set, you love playing with it with daddy as he's the best at creating the most impressive tracks,  I'm not sure who's actually getting more out of it,  you or him! 

After a while it was time to get ready and I also needed to get some things done quickly on the computer and you wanted to watch the birth video/slideshow I made again of one of our dearest friends,  Elina, giving birth to baby Zoryan (I still cannot believe I got to have that experience, it was the most incredible experience of my life,  it is such an honour to have been invited into such a sacred space and to be asked to document it, I am forever grateful) and you now know the lyrics to the song,  and hearing you sing it makes me cry every time,  it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard,  especially hearing you sing the lyrics "I get to love you" in your sweet little cracking voice.  I love how fascinated you are by births,  I remember a year ago when you went through a phase of really being into watching animal births,  getting so excited and happy whenever a baby was born and now you've been really curious and interested in human births. 

Once dressed we walked over to their house so that you could finally meet little Zoryan, ever since you watched the slideshow for the first time,  all you wanted to do was meet him and see Levana & Elina, who you love so much. When I first saw you together with baby Zoryan,  it made me tear up instantly,  this is exactly what we will be experiencing in just a few weeks time!  It all feels so surreal,  that I'm going to be a mama to two!  You were so sweet with him, so curious,  so incredibly gentle, giving him the sweetest little kisses. We always love our time with them,  they're like family to us and you and Levana had such a great little reunion. I love watching how your relationship develops. We stayed for lunch and I got to have lots of baby cuddles too. 

On our way home you couldn't stop talking about how much you love Levana and Zoryan and how both you and Levana have little brothers.  You wanted me to give you a piggy back ride home but since I had my camera bag and tripod with us,  that wasn't really possible so I called daddy and asked him to come meet us,  we were only about a block and a half away and the joy on your face when you saw him come running towards us was the absolute best! And soon after you started telling him how cute and adorable Zoryan is and how he cried a lot, it was the perfect moment to remind you that's what your little brother will do too once he's here,  that when they are that little the only way they can communicate is by crying and that he will want to have booby all the time. 

Right when we got home we got ourselves ready to head to the woods for a little walk  but first you were determined to ride your bike for a little bit. You had gotten it for your 3rd B-Day but haven't used it so much, I feel kind of bad about it thinking maybe I should have made more if an effort but during the summer, you struggled with being able to push the pedals in the right way and it wasn't something you asked about that much but just in the last month or so something's clicked and it's become so easy for you and now you're asking to ride it all the time! 

The other day while in the car I had noticed a path that we hadn't explored next to one of the streams along Rhinefield Dr. and I felt so drawn to it that it had to be where we went for today's walk. I love living here and always discovering new places with you,  it's pure magic. I also really love being in the forest in the winter,  there's a different kind of magic and beauty that I see,  I love that were able to explore it more without being hindered by all the ferns and I love the colours that surround us and the damp woody smells, the smells of the pines and moss combined,  there's a special crispness in the air during this time of the year that always have a way of clearing my mind and making all of my senses come to life.  We followed the path of the stream and frequently stopped just to listen to it's moving waters,  there's something so hypnotic about this sound,  you love it too and become ever so still just long enough to take it in before you are ready to continue our adventure.

We spotted some ducks which then triggered a conversation where you began saying to us, "we love animals, we don't want to hurt animals or hunt animals, we just want to love them" I didn't even know you knew what hunting was!  Recently you have chosen on your own not to eat meat because  of your love for them. As we continued our walk along the bank of the stream you spotted a big log laying over the stream,  I admit it did look like the perfect log to walk across and practice your balance skills,  that is if it wasn't wet and incredibly slippery. But this didn't matter to you,  you wanted to cross it,  saying "I promise it won't be slippery!" Well we weren't going to let you because we really didn't want you to get all soaked or hurt and this notion made you furious!  You became so angry with us for being such buzz kills.  

Luckily your anger was incredibly short lived because not even 30 seconds went by before you declared that you had found the most perfect spot to have a picnic, eat our meatballs (our energy balls) and hang the hammock. And it really was such a beautiful little spot!  You instantly became full of laughter and joy,  I so love the way you laugh,  the way your whole being laughs,  every single part of you an expression of the purest unfiltered joy. Ah the blissfulness of being a child! 

Eventually we started to lose sunlight so we began our walk back to the car and on the way you were busy pointing to all the love trees giving them our names,  saying,  "that one is you mama,  & that one is you daddy,  that one is grandad,  that one is auntie Karen, there's my cousin Laycie, and that baby one is my brother light,  that one is Levana, that one is Zoryan & that one is Elina."

On the drive home you kept spotting unicorns, I'm really envious,  I never get a glimpse of them but you always do!  You must have a special gift!  You kept pointing to where you could see it telling me, "It's right over there through the woods by those trees!!!" I asked you what it looked like and you said,  "It has a white body & a yellow, pink and green horn." I do wish I could see what you see! It was a beautiful drive home,  the grey clouds actually parted to reveal the most beautiful sunsets of reds and oranges. 

Once home it was dinner time,  Kevin had to go get a few things from the shop,  so me and you stayed home and cuddled under a blanket as we both needed to warm I was feeling so sleepy after our beautiful time in the woods! 

During dinner it was back to talking about the planets, you are still very much into the solar system especially the dwarf planets. You decided that Daddy was Haumea and you told me that he's oval in shape because he spins really fast, you decided I was Makemake and you'd lean into me pressing your cheek against mine saying in a sad voice to daddy while pointing to me and hugging me that this dwarf planet has no atmosphere but at least we all live in the Kuiper belt...You even laid out all of our heart pillows and pretended they were the dwarf planets and that you were jumping to each one of them, I just love the way your beautiful mind works! 

Afterwards it was time for bath and once it was time for bed I joined you as I was so incredibly exhausted and needed to catch up on sleep and while daddy was reading the bedtime stories I was trying my hardest to fall asleep. Although in the end it didn't happen and I laid awake for 4 hours until i managed to drift off but it was still nice because I was able to get lots of sweet cuddles from you!