Week 30 - The Rising Phoenix

And it is that time again for another entry for Artefact motherhood, a beautiful blog circle which is a collaboration of artists & mothers from around the world sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefacts we are leaving behind for children and the generations to come. Please have a look through mine and then check out the next artist in our circle.

I woke up feeling a bit tired but you were full of energy! After breakfast we spent some time reading your Nature book, you've haven't been able to get enough of it lately, you just love looking at all the different animals and seeing which ones you've seen in real life. You had a very sweet moment with our cat Mariam, she's always wanting attention but for some reason she doesn't know how to love us without using her claws and you said to her, "oh Mariam, I love you but you are so clumsy with your claws" and you placed a pillow on your lap and became so happy you were able to give her a proper cuddle, she doesn't normally sit still for you very long. It was definitely a moment.

We had plans to go to Bournemouth to visit our friend Sara & see little baby Nuria which you were very excited about so our usual habit of slow mornings was speeded up so we could catch an early train. As soon as we reached the station you were busy making friends with a group of children who were on their way to Isle of Wight, you even showed them your nature book which they were super impressed with & you even got to sit next to them on the train for one stop and had the sweetest goodbye with you all waving to each other as they went their separate ways. I just love love love your ability to make instant friends! You really are such a little love spreader! while we continued on our train to Brockenhurst you were busy pretending you were a wolf howling away in one of the luggage spaces.

I don't know where my head was today but somehow when we got to Borckenhurst I went to the wrong platform which involved taking two lifts to get there only to realise that when we got there we were in the wrong place and needed to be exactly where we came from, the train was leaving in two minutes and we rushed to get back as fast as humanly possible but we missed it by a millisecond, I was even pressing the button to open the doors but the train drove off. normally something like this would not really upset me but today it really did and I found myself getting all stressed out & a bit edgy but luckily my mood subsided after a few minutes and I felt like my normal self again, I swear these pregnancy hormones can make me feel so different to how I usually am in situations, talk about mood swings!

You were being so sweet though and while we were waiting for the next train which arrived in just 5 minutes (so missing it really wasn't a big deal at all!), you stood up in the buggy and reached out to give baby hugs and kisses. Once on the next train you made friends with a woman who happened to be a student studying at Bournemouth university. You sat next to her the whole time chatting away, telling her your name, my name, your age, pointing at my belly & sharing how you are a big sister. You also wanted to share everything you had with her; your water, your apple bar & your grapes. She thought you were amazing and you guys even took a selfie together! when it was time to leave you were very sad to say goodbye.

After a little bus ride we arrived at Sara's house & immediately you wanted to hold Nuria, you were so sweet with her in your arms and I couldn't help but think that soon this will be reflecting our life and it made me a little emotional! But I'm a crazy sap these days, anything and everything can make me cry happy tears, and you are really beginning to understand that we can cry because of joy and not only because we're sad. You really love Nuria, you didn't want to stop holding her or hugging her but you're not really aware of your difference in size & your love was a bit intense and we needed to give you guys some space. After a while you began to get a bit jealous of Nuria and if Sara was sitting down holding her you also had to be in her lap. But not much time passed before Layla (sara's sister) & her son Aymon (age 5) arrived & you had someone else to play with and then for the rest of the afternoon you had the most incredible time, I could hear endless squeals of laughter coming from you. You & Aymon were so amazing together, you got along so great, the two of you were playing like a brother & sister: happy one second and teasing each other the next. Every so often I'd come upstairs to check on you guys and the two of you would always be immersed in some sort of game. A little while later Sara's older kids came home and you & Aymon could not get enough of Sophia (11years) & at one point you were both fighting over her, you wanted her to come with you upstairs & Aymon was determined for her to come with him outside but somehow you all ended upstairs. The three of you were so sweet together, Sophia really knew how to keep you both enthusiastically entertained the whole day! But boy were you tired by the time it came to leave!!

Layla was so kind to give us a ride to the train station so we didn't have to deal with the bus & Sara even made food for us to take with us so I wouldn't have to deal with cooking for us when we got back home. We really are blessed to have such beautiful souls in our lives! Anyways the journey home was a bit traumatic. It started out fine with your usual habit of making friends with random people and you invited yourself to join a group of women at their table by just climbing into their laps. Luckily they really enjoyed your company and didn't mind. But they happened to get off at the first stop and that was when everything went a bit wrong. You had probably the biggest most extreme upset I've ever experienced, I think the term melt-down is appropriate here. You were exceptionally tired and I already had seen all the signs beginning to appear a couple hours earlier (giddyness, moodyness, easily angry etc.) And by this point I think you were just beyond tired. It was getting crowded and I needed you to sit next to me but all you wanted to do was run around and you got so angry with me, screaming at the top of your lungs kicking & flailing your arms, trying to escape by crawling under the chairs that I really didn't know what else to do but put you in the buggy. You were so incredibly angry, I don't think I've ever seen you so upset, the way you were screaming was on another level, I felt so awful, somehow I was able to stay calm, I think I was in a bit of a shock & I tried to just empathise with you. Eventually, somehow, after at least 15-20 min you calmed down a bit and I took you in my arms and we had the most beautiful embrace, you almost fell asleep in my arms, and in that moment I knew things had turned a corner. You just held on to me in such a way, I never wanted to let you go. I told you that you needed to be back in the buggy until we got on the next train and you just said, "OK mummy" while flashing me the biggest little smile. And the rest of our journey home went ever so smoothly. You made yet another friend on the train from Brockenhurst to Lymington and you even scored a piece of chocolate!

Once we made it home after filling your tummy with some food it was time for a quick bath and a couple of stories, it took you a bit longer than usual to fall asleep, which is always the way when your over tired but by 19:30 you had entered dreamland.